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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Best Men's Magazines in India

Everyday's an endless stream
Of cigarettes and magazines...
[Homeward Bound, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel]

Cutting the Chai - The Best Men's Magazines in IndiaOn cigarettes, I've posted before and magazines are a recurring theme on this blog. Since I shouldn't be ranking the best cigarettes in India, I thought of arranging at least the men's magazines in the right order, especially since almost all of them in one way or the other claim to be the best Indian men's magazine.

After a drought that spanned for almost the entire history of magazine publishing in India now there is a deluge of mainstream men's magazines on the newsstands. The only monthly drizzle in this waterlessness was a monthly called Gentleman, which after decades of well appreciated presence ceased publishing in 2001.

The vacuum left behind by Gentleman was for a few years filled by Man's World, which first hit the stands in 1999.

Gentleman magazine covers [10 images]
Courtesy: Subhadip Choudhury


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Drawing up the list wasn't that difficult (but ordering them was). It was to include only the mainstream general interest men's magazines and therefore those (don't know if all from my growing up years still exist) of the adult's only variety have been excluded. Anyway, they wouldn't have been much of a competition.

The initial list had eight names (in alphabetical order):

1. Debonair
2. FHM (For Him Magazine)
3. GQ (Gentlemen's Quarterly)
4. M
5. Maxim
6. Men's Health
7. Man's World (MW)
8. The Man

A little thinking, shortened the list by two for the final nominations.

Debonair - though it no longer features topless female models and has also toned down its content - is yet to regain some of the class. The issues that I flipped through didn't appeal much.

Men's Health was excluded because of it's name and content. Though the magazine might not have only health-related content between its covers but the primary focus didn't match with the criteria of this ranking.

Left with six titles, and evenly matched too - three of Indian origin (The Man, MW and M) and three Indian editions of foreign magazines (Maxim, FHM and GQ). Only if Gentleman hadn't shut shop and Bennett & Coleman had continued with GT (It's a Guy Thing) it would've been even more interesting.

Other Indian men's magazine covers [10 images]


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Before the final ranking, the hors d'oeuvre:

Cutting the Chai's 10 sexiest Indian men's magazine covers

10. Maxim, September 2008. Featuring Gul Panag

Maxim, September 2008. Featuring Gul Panag

9. Maxim, August 2006. Featuring Celina Jaitley

Maxim, August 2006. Featuring Celina Jaitley

8. Maxim, April 2007. Featuring Mandira Bedi

Maxim, April 2007. Featuring Mandira Bedi

7. Maxim, June 2007. Featuring Koena Mitra

Maxim, June 2007. Featuring Koena Mitra

6. Man's World, March 2007. Featuring Nina Manuel

Man's World, March 2007. Featuring Nina Manuel

5. The Man, Quarter III, 2006. Featuring Nina Manuel

The Man, Quarter III, 2006. Featuring Nina Manuel

4. Maxim, November 2007. Featuring Yana Gupta

Maxim, November 2007. Featuring Yana Gupta

3. Man's World, March 2005. Featuring Mallika Sherawat

Man's World, March 2005. Featuring Mallika Sherawat

2. FHM, May 2008. Featuring Nina Manuel

FHM, May 2008. Featuring Nina Manuel

1. Man's World, March 2006. Featuring Celina Jaitley

Man's World, March 2006. Featuring Celina Jaitley

This proves that for magazine covers that are sexy all that you need is a Nina Manuel and a bikini. And women make for hotter magazine covers (this doesn't need any proof though).

[The information - besides my comments - provided in the listing is according to the January issues of the magazines]

The Best Men's Magazines in India (believe me it was tough)

6. The Man
Periodicity: Bimonthly
Price: Rs 50
Pages: 176 (excluding covers)
Provenance: India
Website: theman.in
Editor: K Sunil Thomas (Issue Editor); Philip Mathew (Managing Editor)
Company: The Malayala Manorama Co Ltd
Place of publication1: Ernakulam

The Man magazine covers [11 images]


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Though The Man offers the best value for money amongst the competition, it doesn't rank high on other counts.

We need our monthly dose of content and a bimonthly amidst all the monthlies isn't very exciting - especially when the content served isn't something worth waiting 60 days for. To make things more complex for the reader the people at Malayala Manorama (the company behind the magazine) do not even seem to get a freeze on the periodicity. It was once a quarterly, then became a monthly only to hastily turn into a bimonthly.

The layout is unimaginative and boxy and the humour quotient is low (though humour alone doesn't make a good men's mag - as this list would reveal). And their website too doesn't add any value.

5. GQ
Periodicity: Monthly
Price: Rs 100
Pages: 194 (excluding covers)
Provenance: United States of America
Website: gqmagazine.in
Editor: Che Kurrien
Company: Conde Nast India Pvt Ltd
Place of publication1: Mumbai

GQ magazine covers [4 images]


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Being an internet person, I take offence on not being able to easily locate the website address on the print edition especially when one exists. The Indian edition of i is one such. But their website isn't the reason behind the ranking (this after all is a ranking of the magazines and not the websites).

The first copy of GQ that I bought and spend a while reading resulted in a yawn. I never had access to the international editions of GQ (unlike Maxim and FHM's videshi editions that were sold by kids at Delhi traffic lights), but expected some excitement from the newest kid on the block in the Indian men's mag market.

There are too many men between the covers. I think that straight men still have a larger share in the demographic pie. And too less humour. The presentation too is insipid.

But GQ seems to have improved by the issue, though not by much. Hopefully by their first anniversary issue, I'll look forward to becoming a regular reader.

4. M
Periodicity: Monthly
Price: Rs 75
Pages: 164 (excluding covers and the Kajol pull-out)
Provenance: India
Website: m-magazine.in
Editor: Pranav Kapila (Executive Editor); Amitabh Taneja (Editor-in-Chief)
Company: Images Multimedia Pvt Ltd
Place of publication: New Delhi

M magazine covers [20 images]


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Much like The Man, M too had its share of periodicity pangs. For a better part of its existence it was a bimonthly and to my liking it turned into a monthly (from July 2008). It its bimonthly avatar the magazine used to be an unwieldy behemoth. Now it is comparably more manageable.

In some of the pages there are interesting experiments with page design. There's some food for thought, but not much of fun. Too much space is wasted on full and even double-page images of men!

A name like M isn't very search engine friendly too.

3. FHM
Periodicity: Monthly
Price: Rs 100
Pages: 136 (excluding covers)
Provenance: United Kingdom
Website: fhmindia.com
Editor: Tushar A Amin
Company: Next Gen Publishing Ltdxt
Place of publication1: Mumbai

FHM magazine covers [15 images]


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Overlying the FHM masthead on the cover the text says, "Voted the Best Magazine in the World", pity this list doesn't give the magazine similar reverence.

FHM tries to mix everything that a man would need, including those silly personality profile tests. But rival Maxim manages to package things better. Like Maxim it has the advantage of content from sister editions the world over, but there is still something missing - a little bit of salt.

2. Maxim
Periodicity: Monthly
Price: Rs 100
Pages: 164 (excluding covers)
Provenance: United Kingdom
Website: maximindia.in
Editor: Anup Kutty
Company: Media Transasia India Ltd
Place of publication: New Delhi

Maxim magazine covers [39 images]


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Maxim is funny and also makes fun of the people involved in making the magazine. That builds a personal relationship with the readers. But sometimes the effort shows.

The magazine has quite a lot of goods - in all senses of the term. There are women practically overflowing from everywhere and gadgets, jokes, cars, accessories manage to elbow in some space. The worst part is that it ends too soon. There isn't enough to read, the focus is on the visual pleasures.

While M and The Man had periodicity problems, Maxim took a while to get the price right. They even tried packaging in digital editions and other stuff in CDs to lure readers. But in India the MRP is the biggest bait.

1. Man's World (MW)
Periodicity: Monthly
Price: Rs 100
Pages: 132 (excluding covers)
Provenance: India
Website: mansworldindia.com
Editor: Murali K Menon (Managing Editor); Nair Radhakrishnan (Publisher and Editor); Anuradha Mahindra (Editor-in-Chief)
Company: MW.Com India Pvt Ltd
Place of publication1: Mumbai

Man's World magazine covers [66 images]


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The oldest of the lot. And uses experience to its advantage. It recently (January 2008) went for a makeover for what they termed as a bigger, bolder look. Look it does better, but the size is a bit too big. Man's World is an inch longer and wider that the much better proportioned Maxim. And yes, it's preferably MW - like JLo, JFK... (or because of GQ, FHM?)

Now what would be the proper name to call the magazine by? MW or Man's World - both names are registered with the Registrar of Newspapers. But the registration number printed on the back cover corresponds to MW whiile the website's title reads Man's World. We should get a fix on this once and for all.

The print is small, the page is big, photos many but not oversized... takes hours to reach from one cover to the other. And the journey is worth the time. Amazing regular line-up of contributors. No other men's magazine in circulation manages to even come close. Beautiful hot women, but not an overdose (actually it isn't possible to have an overdose of beautiful women). Men also get cover space. Both the brains and the things down under are taken proper care of. In short the best than an Indian man can get.

Hope no one sues me for any not-so-complimentary observations ;)

1 According to information on the Registrar of Newspapers for India website

Related posts:· Top Indian Internet Scandals
· The Best Bollywood Love Songs Ever

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Thursday, September 04, 2008

Akshay in Levis 501 Ad

Akshay Kumar Levis 501 AdAkshay Kumar is one movie star who is getting better with age (I didn't like his latest hit Singh is Kinng though) and this is on display in the new ad for Levis 501 jeans. And muscles look good on him (unlike Shah Rukh Khan displaying his overhyped 'six-pack').

The girl in the ad whose unbuttoning endeavour is cut short by the director's shout, comes back and seductively tells Akki, "See you next time, unbuttoned all the way."

There have been quite a lot of women in the Sexy Indian Ads section of this blog. Time to take care of the needs of the straight female readership.

The video (I've for the time being abandoned the old video player, it was too much of a pain for a little style):


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Screenshot gallery:


Original image slideshow

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Sanjay Dutt Hits Out at Metrosexuals

In this campaign - actually a surrogate beer ad masquerading as a pseudo public service advertisement - for Haywards 5000 Soda, Bollywood star Sanjay Dutt hits out at metrosexuals. And urges Indian men to be more "manly."

Haywards 5000 has initiated a Mard Bachao Andolan, that seeks to rescue Indian manliness from the clutches of waxed eyebrows, manicures and facials. I wish them success.


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Interestingly Sanjay Dutt himself has been spotted with a shaven chest.

By the way, Haywards 5000 happens to be my favourite beer.

Note: This andolan for bachoing men is not to confused with the activities of the Man Cell and similar organisations.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Master, Master, Teach Me Kung Fu

"Master, Master, teach me Kung fu."

"Kung fu is not child's play. You have to work very hard."

Enter the DragonThe Master is usually a drunkard and the pupil inevitably has to climb up steep slopes with buckets of water, as a part of the "hard work." Often the pupil is a weakling who gets beaten up by the toughies and seeks refuge with the Master. Sometime in between the Master or someone close to the pupil gets killed and the pupil goes out to seek revenge. The adversaries are also masters of the ancient art of Kung fu, therefore it is tough to beat them. But the Master had taught the pupil one masterstroke, usually known by some amusing name, such as "Snake in the Monkey's Shadow." And this is what does the trick when everything seems to be lost in the climax fight. There would also exist a love interest, another exponent of the martial arts and wooing involves some fisticuffs and flying kicks.

Most martial arts movies we watched as a kid were somewhat on these lines. Watched numerous of them, we did. Whenever we planned a night's stay at a friend's a martial arts movie was a must (other popular genres during our teenage pyjama parties were horror, comedy and adult. No romantic films). The movements were so fast that our eyes could hardly make anything of them and the stunts so impossible for us to even think of emulating, yet we enjoyed them. The action and the humour. Kung fu shoes were a style statement and entire afternoons were spent in perfecting that roundhouse kick and nunchaku (we also called it twin stick) occupied a place of pride on the bedroom wall. Evenings were spent debating the feats of Bruce Lee and the conspiracy behind his death (some believed that he was still around). Jackie Chan wasn't enigmatic as the Big Lee, but he sure was funny.

Maxim's The Greatest Martial Arts MomentsMaxim compiles a selection of The Greatest Martial Arts Moments (with the videos, of course). Heading the list is the greatest of them all - Enter the Dragon. Others in the list are:

2. Ong-Bak
3. The Crippled Masters
4. Hero
5. Drunken Master
6. The Karate Kid
7. Fearless
8. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
9. Kung Fu Hustle
10. Fist of Legend

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Rubbers of India - II

Boing Boing termed my earlier post on Indian condoms 'bottomless.' Now researchers have 'discovered' that condoms "made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men." Damn! I wrote such a long post and still my brethren fell short.

Almost every newspaper and website has this story. But didn't we know this for long. At least women abroad know better. A few had posed me the question during online chats (no, I wasn't on any of 'those' chat rooms).

Clothing brands had realised this much earlier, only that they are implementing it now. But then it was for the visible portions. For something like a condom, it is just a little difficult. And with samples, however large they are there's always a chance of having it skewed. The suggestion of having different sizes is welcome (in addition to flavours, colours, texture there'll also be a choice between S, M, L, XL and XXL). But like women, many of whom are not aware of their perfect cup sizes (the calculation, like most things female, is a little confusing), it will take some instructions for men to know which category they 'fit in.' Different experts
still have varied opinions on how to go about the measuring exercise.

There's also an online Definitive Penis Size Survey (contains images which might not be safe for work) In case you are interested in an unscientific measurement exercise, which will not require you to drop your pants, try this out (safe for work, requires Flash).

Anyway does size matter (Cliched question, I know that. But the answers are always interesting)?

[Initially thought of not posting about this story, then Shivam sent me a link. Then thought that it might just be my forte and moreover many people were already visiting this blog looking for that story. I don't want to disappoint anyone. The last post had got too long, will post updates on this page, until this too gets bottomless]

Click here for the complete post...

Friday, November 10, 2006

Push-Ups Go Down Under

Czech model Eva Herzigova said "Hello boys," in that famous Wonderbra ad, a dozen years ago, and we all responded in a full throated "Hi!"

Wonderbra Ad - Eva Herzigova

The times they have changed. And the guys Downunder are focussing on, what else, the stuff down under.

Patriot undies

The briefs (Wonderjock) are named 'Patriot' and the product description on the website says:

Your country has never been prouder and neither have you! The new 'wondercup' technology in these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Patriot briefs will have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing.

Since the elastic band reads "Property of Australia," it cannot expect much of Indian orders, especially after the Pawar shove.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hair Here, Gone Tomorrow

Hair Here, Gone Tomorrow"Door se dekha to ande ubal rahe the,
Paas aake dekha to ganje uchal rahe the"


(From afar it looked like eggs boiling,
A closer look revealed it was just baldies leaping)

Hair, rather the lack of it, has been an ageless concern and the butt of jokes (the latest being Zidane butting his bald head). A receding or missing hairline is something school kids find funny and adults find alarming. A friend of a friend was about to get married to the girl of his choice. In a good job, from a respectable family and also good to look at. But the girl's dad said 'No.' The only reason, the prospective groom doesn't have enough hair on his head. Using this as an excuse many of my friends urge me to tie the knot at the earliest. In tapori lingo, "Baal nahi to maal nahin" (doesn't translate very well into English, but means 'no hair, no girl'). I prefer to remain unconcerned by such concerns, even though genetics urges me to. And the evidence on my pillow seems to substantiate that.

People like Einstein and our dear prez Dr. Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam don't support my cause too well. Characters like Shakaal, Dr Dang, the ones played by Amrish Puri, Shetty (remember him?) and the dear Lucifer just made things worse. And so did Salman Khan (Down South, they say, you can't even be bald below your nose) Even our mythology doesn't feature anyone naturally bald (all the baldies that I know of are the voluntary ones). From the Creator through the Preserver and to the Destroyer, all sport long manes. From the yesteryears only Socrates was of some solace and now this news item:

King of the jungle? Only if you're bald

The lion’s mane, that magnificent ruff associated with vigour and virility, is a turn-off for lionesses, scientists have found.

Zoologists have discovered that the more impressive the mane the more likely lionesses are to turn away in favour of a balder mate.

Far from being a guarantee of feline virility and strength, an impressive mane indicates to the females that the lion is past his prime.

But who would dare make a pass at a lioness?

Getting bald is like getting a little plump. Left to yourself you wouldn't feel much uncomfortable about it. But like most things superficial, it is the peer pressure that gets you into a complex. Many jokes just revolve around weight and hair. "Ujre chaman (ravaged garden)," is a common salutation. But there are brighter things about going bald. The brightest is that you head gets brighter. Others are as follows:

1. America's national bird is the Bald Eagle; therefore it is less likely that Uncle Bush would aim his missiles at you.
2. Persis Khambatta, Sarika, Protima Bedi, Nandita Das and Shabana Azmi have all sported a bald look and also looked good in it. This translates into the fact that if women look good being bald, they would also like bald men.
3. You wouldn't have a bad hair day.
4. You'll save a lot on hair cream and gels. It might mean that you spend more on soap, but soap is anyday cheaper then hair gel. You save money anyway.
5. You'll also save on shampoo.
6. And combs.
7. You can now do away with the backpocket comb that your girlfriend always found very tapori type.
8. You'll spend less time before the mirror and have more time for life.
9. The barber might charge you the same (though the joke says that he'll charge more) for cutting lesser hair, but the visit to the barber's shop will be shorter.
10. Your kids or nephews and nieces can't pull your hair out (nor can you when frustrated).
11. Your partner can't play with your hair; she'll now have to play with something else.
12. You can do a Zidane (for money, of course).
13. Zidane gave the baldies new weapon, now your adversaries will be wary of you.
14. It's goodbye to oily pillows and stains on the wall.
15. You don't have to worry about grey (applicable only for the all bald).
16. You don't have to worry whether middle or side parting looks better on you.
17. Your Gillette Mach III will now give you more value for money.
18. Statistics suggest that most bosses are bald. Therefore you also have a high probability of becoming a boss, or at least getting a raise, as your boss can relate to you.
19. Dengue mosquitoes can bite you through the gaps in the hair, but you cannot apply mosquito repellant there. The hairless don't have any such worries.
20. You can now write 'none' against the colour of hair column in forms.
21. You'll have one less area to scratch during the hot and sweaty summers.
22. Bald plates are like finger prints, you can also be recognised from behind.
23. You can now stop calling your beloved 'moon' it's her turn now (I'm not very sure if the 'moon calling' phenomenon is restricted to films only or is also replicated in real life romances).
24. You can play the villain in Hindi films. It is the villain who gets the most fun in films; the fights are anyway fake (with the exception of I-don't-have-any-talent-but-the-producer-is-my-uncle and I-don't-know-how-to-act-but-am-a-model-and-films-is-the-only-place-where-I-can-earn-more-than-my-girlfriend).
25. Bald men look more mature.
26. And intelligent.
27. And also prosperous (a pot belly adds to the effect).
28. You don't have to worry about washing your hair after Holi.
29. You can give the shoe polish boy an idea of how much you want your shoes to shine.
30. If your girlfriend doesn't leave you along with your hair, she's the right one for you. Now you don't have to wait years before you find out.
31. No lice and also no dandruff.

If the above reasons are not convincing enough (readers' help in expanding the list is sought), there are expensive alternatives available to make your top look blacker (or whatever colour you want it to be). Go for allopathy, homeopathy, ayruved, unani, transplanting or weaving. Just don't go for a wig or a toupee and also don't grow your hair longer on one side, so that you can comb it to the other to cover the bald spot in between.

Bald is best bold.

PS: The close cropped profile pic isn't for hiding a receding hairline. The crop atop is still dense.

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Monday, July 24, 2006

Rubbers of India

In New Delhi's Nirman Bhavan there is a clock, but it doesn't tell the time. It calculates the cumulative fruits of efforts initiated approximately 280 days ago. The rate of increase is approximately 29 per minute. It would've definitely been faster, if not for inventions called contraceptives. The most popular and visible form of this restrictive yet propagative is prophylactics which in more comprehensible terminology are called rubbers, love gloves, jimmy hats, raincoats or simply, condoms.

Condoms as HeadgearIt was the revelation of the underlying meaning of the classic "Pyar hua iqrar hua, pyar se phir kyon darta hain dil (Love happened, acceptance happened. Why does the heart then fear love?)," with the addition "Deluxe Nirodh aath aane mein teen (Deluxe Nirodh/condoms three for 50 paise)," that I became aware of the existence of the rubber sheath. The ad has the greatest recall value amongst all contraceptive advertisements in India. We kids loved it and put a price on our classmates, 50p for 3 - cheap. But one condom cost soft drink major Pepsi dear - Rs. 1,23,000 to be precise.

What began as a protection against insect bites, infection and injury some 3300 years ago has evolved into coloured, flavoured, ribbed, dotted and I don't know how many different varieties - almost customised for individual needs and moods. The land of the KS - the Vatsayana one, is also the land of the KS - the Pooja Bedi and Viveka Babajee one. In India the use of the rubber isn't limited to prevention of procreation. Keeping in line with the glorious tradition of producing electricity using tractors and using washing machines to make lassi, Indians use it in the finishing if Benarasi silk sarees, to provide a smooth finish to tarred roads, waterproofing ceilings against the monsoon onslaught and also to carry water to the fields to answer the call of nature. Blowing balloons is one of the intended purposes.

Says Rama Kant of King George's Medical University, Lucknow,

"The lubricant in latex-made condoms comes in handy for giving a smooth finish and shine to Benaras silk saris. For waterproofing, condoms are cut and spread under the cement-concrete mortar above ceilings; and as for roads, large quantities of condoms are mixed with tar-concrete in hot-mix plants to churn out a high quality road finish product."

This solves the riddle of the millions spent in free condom distribution not reflecting in the rate of growth of population and the incidence of HIV/AIDS. And we thought that Indians got hyperactive in bed with the availability of free protection. Given the qualities of the condom such unintended use is unavoidable.

A quality condom can easily stretch over three feet (now you know what to think when someone says that it doesn't fit) and it can also hold up to 12 litres of water or three bags of potatoes before bursting.

Nowadays we welcome the richest man in the world with an eight foot condom and also get it as a reward for getting a haircut. At the same time we had governments restricting condom advertising on the national broadcaster asking people to focus on abstinence and single partner relationships. The next government again shifted the focus on the rubber. Abstinence does not even work amongst the avowed celibates and power and single partner relationships do not seem to go together. Recent scandals and hidden camera acts have added credence to what everyone knew for long.

Sometimes a little off-track application puts the doer as well the doctor in some trouble.

A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceding four months, her symptoms did not improve. A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe. Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom. Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.

Moral of the story: A blowjob can blow up your medical bills (Suggest more morals).

One of the major obstacles which youngsters face with condoms is not about using them but acquiring them, especially from a medical store. Matters are made worse if there is an elderly gentleman or a woman manning the store. If you've seen the movie Anubhav (no not the one from 1971 directed by Basu Bhattacharya, but the 1986 one which has a gawky Shekhar Suman in the lead role opposite Padmini Kohlapure) you will know what I exactly mean.

Many like to stock an emergency rubber in the wallet. But it is always advisable to keep on replacing the stock at short intervals. The daily friction which the wallet has to go through, especially if you're in a habit of keeping your wallet in the rear pocket of you trousers/jeans, takes its toll on the otherwise sturdy and flexible latex. A friend had to retreat from an escapade as the wallet-stocked sheath gave away immediately after application. He had been carrying it for months in hope. This joke gives a different perspective to condom storage and why you shouldn't be putting it in the wallet (many must have heard it before, but it is still funny):

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me.it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check The wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once Before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, Just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test.... we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:

"Always keep your condoms in your car!"

This guy also has a nice take on condom storage and related stuff.

An administrative folly did try to put a restrictive barrier on us Indian bloggers but that was very unlike the good condom. The rubber doesn't restrict the fun (the new ones add to the experience) but stops us from the regretting later. The rubbers of India are many and varied and so is the propaganda practice. The real purpose of this post was to bring together at one place, the best (that I could lay my hands, make that cursor, on) of rubbery India.

The big Indian condom story began back in 1966 when the largest manufacturer of contraceptives in the country - Hindustan Latex Limited - was established. It was in 1991, the sultry side of the rubber industry in India came to the fore with the introduction of Kamasutra condoms by JK Chemicals - now JK Ansell (ask for KS and the chemist understands, ask for KS and the bookseller understands). Ask the panwallah and he'll show you varieties which Google cannot find. This is what I could manage with Google. My panwallah didn't let me photograph his stock (Other stuff that I found in old magazines will make it to this blog in a different post.)

Condom packets have written on them - for single use only - right. Condoms are purchased by an individual for his personal purposes, but like all other things you can buy in bulk and save a little. But a FAMILY PACK of condoms! A family pack means that the whole family can use it or do they mean that these are intended for starting a family. As Rishi (Rahul Bose) in Jhankar Beats suggested - condoms for NOT family planning. But condoms in a 'family' pack? That's taking things a little too far.

Family Pack

If you thought that male condoms are only of the latex type (no I'm not talking flavoured or dotted, that's for later), the All India Institute of Medical Sciences tells me that there are four:
* Natural skin condom: Made from lamb intestine, rarely used nowadays. It provides better sensation, but does not protect from infection. Most viruses can cross natural membrane
* Latex condoms: 0.3 - 0.8 mm thick - sperms and organisms causing STIs cannot pass through these condoms.
* Poly-urethane condoms: These are odourless, have greater sensitivity and resistance to deterioration from storage and lubricants. Individuals with latex allergy can use poly-urethane condoms.
* Silicon rubber condom: thicker and less popular (does Pamela Anderson have anything to do with it?)

If you're unsure of how to use them but can't read the fine print on the cardboard covers, or you've already cut them up and pasted the pictures on your 'hot' scrap book then there's Condom Sutra for you with all it's gyaan.

And this one has been 'Specially made for Government of India.' Since the product is 'lubricated' it does make some sense.

Norodh - Specially made for the Government of India

Some Indian condom brands:

Zaroor
Zaroor

So
So

Hi-Life
Hi-Life

Privent
Privent

Moments
Moments

Bigdom
Bigdom

Green Love
Green Love (Is it eco-friendly?)

Kohinoor
Kohinoor

Moods
Moods

Masti
Masti

Kamasutra
Kamasutra

Super Deluxe Nirodh
Super Deluxe Nirodh

Deluxe Nirodh
Deluxe Nirodh

Senorita
Senorita

Adam
Adam (only if Adam used one)

Nymph
Nymph

Rakshak
Rakshak

Ustad
Ustad

Share
Share

Casanova
Casanova (He used to use protection)

And some varieties within

Kohinoor

Kohinoor
Multi-variety

Moods


Spiral


Ribbed


Coloured


All night extra time


Strawberry flavoured


Ultra thin


Scented - Rose, Musk, Jasmine


Chocolate Flavoured


Dotted supreme


Extra long

Kamasutra


Peppermint Flavoured


Flavoured


Climax Control Dotted


Dual Textured


Super Thin


Ribbed


Dotted


Contoured


Studded


Sport - Mixed Berry


Strawberry Flavoured


Form Fitted


Sport - Coloured


Strawberry Ribbed


Extra Pleasure

A condom vending machine



The manufacturing machinery


Condom manufacturing line


Condom making

And some print ads

















What about some television commercials?

Kohnioor
1. A couple laterally set their house on fire. [Download 3.17 MB AVI 00:01:20]
2. Extra time - that goes on and on and on and on ... [Download 1.88 MB WMV 00:01:20]

Kamasutra
The double meaning series
1. Waiting room [View Flash | WMV | RM]
2. Executive lunch [View Flash | WMV | RM]
3. Hospital [View Flash | WMV | RM]

KS Oldies
1. Pooja Bedi and Marc Robinson playing chess [View Flash | WMV | RM]
2. Pooja Bedi in the shower [View Flash | WMV | RM]
3. Viveka Babajee - under the waterfall [View Flash | WMV | RM]

Raj and Rishi finally get their one-liner in Jhankaar Beats and I repeat - Better safe than worry.

Addition #1
Yahi Hain Sahi (This is Right) - Condom promotion campaign



View TVC storyboard
| Watch television commercial [RM 00:00:41]

Addition #2
Safe sex ad


Image courtesy: DFID UK

Addition #3
A rubber vendor


Image courtesy: Asian Sex Gazette

Addition #4
Kamasutra Print Ads











Addition #5
More KS Ads





Addition #6
The World's First Condom Bike
By who else but an Indian - K Sudhakar of Sudha Cars, Hyderabad. Pictured here sitting atop his condom bike (wonder if the material used is the same) on November 28, 2002.



Addition #7
Reader's contribution: Dwaipayan of Meaningless Crap has sent the following featuring an article on condom campaigns in India (HT Sunday Magazine July 9, 2006).

Click on the images for a larger view















Addition #8
A history of the evolution of social marketing of contraceptives in India is available here

Addition #9
This page contains a collection of audio-visual spots on HIV/AIDS produced by ILO UNAIDS & BBC World Service Trust - NACO - Doordarshan. The videos are downloadable and are in Real Media format.

Addition #10 (August 18, 2006)
What do you have with your morning tea (besides tea)? Newspapers. Now add some action to that. According to Hindustan Times the Andhra Pradesh State Aids Control Society is planning to deliver a condom-a-day (in strawberry-coloured packaging) with the morning paper.

"We thought that delivering the condoms with newspapers would be the surest way of reaching people. We are talking to newspaper distributors and hawkers to pitch in for this social cause," said AIDS control officer Dr Dinesh.

The authorities hope to distribute 10,000 condoms a day with the newspapers. The target groups are people living in poorer localities and migrant workers. While the bulk of the condoms would be delivered with the morning daily, a small number would be distributed along with a locally-published evening newspaper.


Addition #11 (November 10, 2006)
Flavoured condoms are a hot favourite. But censors (as usual) do not like the 'taste' of it.
Authorities want to stop the daytime airing of a television advertisement promoting flavoured condoms saying it is obscene and in bad taste, a newspaper reported on Friday.

The advert promotes DKT's "XXX" strawberry, chocolate and banana flavoured condoms with the catchline "What is your flavour of the night?"

...

"This campaign is obscene," Sharmila Tagore, chairwoman of the Censor Board was quoted as saying in the Times of India. "Maybe DKT is targeting raunchy teenagers. But the ads are definitely not meant for children."

...

A senior DKT official told the newspaper the flavoured condoms were not meant to promote oral sex, but to encourage couples who do not like the smell of latex.


Addition #12 (November 18, 2006)

These are courtesy Shivam
Narendra Modi pic on Condoms Pack

Health kits containing contraceptive pills, chlorene tablets, ORS packets and condoms are being distributed by the Gujarat government.

The goodies are from Chief Minister Narendra Modi and even his picture graces the kit.

...

"He puts his photographs on food packets for those affected by the floods in Surat. Now it is even on condom packets, it is embarrassing," said Arjun Modhwadia, Congress leader.

But the government says its intentions are noble and even though it has unfortunately got nicknamed the Modi condom, the plan has worked.



The next is from Hindustan Times (They desperately need to do something about their websearch and archiving. So no link to the original story, only excerpts from the text).
Protection is not really Narendra Modi's forte

By Ruchir Joshi
Hindustan Times
July 6, 2006

Having not yet seen the goods myself, I don't know if Narendra Modi's
face is printed only on the cartons, whether it's resplendent on each
individual packet or, indeed, also embossed like a royal profile on
the business end of each condom itself. What I do know is that Modi
and Ashok Bhatt, the Health Minister, both seem eager to try and get
ever deeper into the lives of the citizens of Gujarat.

(The story isn't condom centric, it's just used as an excuse for another unending round of Modi bashing. All the media bashings doesn't seem to have done the man any harm)

Click here for the complete post...