Don't Worry Your Holidays are Safe. Ignore that SMS

Multiple instances of this SMS landed in my mobile's inbox:

Sare papo ka saja agle saal milegi
holidays in 2010
26jan-sun
16mar-sun/holi
1may-sun
15aug-sun
2oct-sun
17octsun/dussera
5nov-sun/diwali
25dec-sunday

And in our holiday-obsessed nation it is spreading like wildfire.

But the fact is that most of the date-day combinations do not hold true in the calendar for 2010.

Here's the official version [PDF] of the holidays in 2010.

Republic Day - January 26, Tuesday

Holi - March 1, Monday

May Day - May 1, Saturday

Independence Day - August 15, Sunday

Mahatma Gandhi's Birthday - October 2, Saturday

Dussehra - October 17, Sunday

Diwali - November 5, Friday

Christmas - December 25, Saturday

So relax, most of the holidays (for those with a six-day week) are still safe. And just don't frantically forward any SMS that comes you way.

Damn, for a moment I too was scared. Whew!

[Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mangee/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0]

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Recession Effect on Blessings

There's something about recession. It has even changed the nature of blessings.

This morning, I saw a poor couple with a baby sitting the lane near my home. They were in rags and shivering in the morning cold.

Just a few days ago I had sorted out clothes that I wanted to donate through Goonj, but couldn't find the time to drop it at their collection centre. So thought of giving the poor family a few warm clothes to spend the winter in comfort.

After I handed them the clothes, the couple blessed me in gratitude. But the blessing was a little different from the usual Aapki umar lambi ho (May you live a long life) or Aap tarraki kare (May you prosper).

They instead said, Aapki naukri salamat rahein (May your job be secure).

In these uncertain times, it was indeed appropriate.

Related post:

· When Bottles Dance

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Stupid Profile Names on Orkut

To say that Orkut is popular here in India would be a gross understatement. And since it is popular you cannot afford to stay away from it (for long) and especially if you are in the online business you just cannot afford to.

Thanks to so many people being in there I'm now in (remote) touch with a number of old friends.

But I get flummoxed when I get a scrap from someone called "IM oN tHE 7tH HeAVen aNd In NO mOdd 2 GEt DoWn." Good for you buddy if you're there and I wish you'd stay there but at the same time I'd also like some clues towards your real, non CrAzY cased identity?

I then go snooping to the scrappers profile and try to hunt for clues - common friends, photos, videos, scraps, testimonials. Usually I make a good guess, but often am left clueless.

To many this might seem cool, but it actually defies the real purpose of social networking. One your identity gets camouflaged (unless it is a deliberate act) and someone looking for you there by your name wouldn't find you in the search results. And when you scrap someone, he/she would be left wondering.

Some clever chaps have found a way out, they insert their names in some other field, eg city, and hence get featured in the profile search results.

Maybe Orkut should give these bacchas some other field where they can let their creative energies roam free while I get to know who is scrapping me.

Thankfully, my Facebook friend's list is still sane. Maybe because Facebook emphasises on the 'real name'. Or are my Facebook friends saner than my Orkut ones? Or people tend to be proper on Facebook and go crazy on Orkut? Maybe I'm getting old?

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Ward Off Unwanted Callers (Without Sounding Rude)

The mobile phone is both a boon and a bane. While it allows you to be in touch all the time, it also keeps you within the reach of people that you wouldn't like to talk to - telecallers, irritiating relatives or friends, nagging wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend, the boss or other colleagues (while you are busy with your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend), crank callers, persistent wrong numbers... you can keep on adding to the list.

Some mobile operators provide a service to block unwanted callers, but many users prefer not do so because you can't block your boss' number. It's just that there are times you wish he/she hadn't called (because you have already overshot the deadline and are still thinking of a good enough excuse). Or that you cannot afford to offend some people even if you didn't want to talk to them. And the National Do Not Call Registry cannot rescue you from your angry girlfriend's phone call (NDNCR is not much effective anyways)

This simple trick might not actually prevent unwanted callers from calling you, but would irritate them (without offending) to stop calling for a while.

This is somewhat similar to the old ploy where you yell from one end, "I can't hear you...". But you tend to exert some energy in the lying effort. Here they cannot hear you and would do all the yelling, while you relax and continue to do whatever you were doing.

Steps:

1. Receive the call. If you can avoid not answering the call this trick isn't for you.

2. Converse for a few seconds (this is optional) to show that you aren't avoiding them.

3. Press the mute option, your end will go silent while the caller would believe this as a network problem (as it often happens in normal circumstances), will yell for a while and then hang up.

4. Follow the same steps if the caller calls again. He/she will get frustrated soon and would stop bothering you for a while.

In case your phone doesn't have the mute option, use your thumb to muffle the microphone.

And don't hold me responsible if anything goes wrong.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Six Countries Don't Have Firefox 3

Firefox 3 created a world record with over eight million downloads in a day and there have been over 619 million downloads of the much loved web browser! But beyond the bottom of the download heap are six countries/territories that (according to the stats displayed by Mozilla on Firefox 3's Download Day page) that haven't recorded a single instance of a Firefox 3 download (as of July 2, 2008).

The six Firefox 3 black holes are: French Guiana, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, Svalbard and Jan Mayen, Timor-Leste, Western Sahara, and of course, North Korea.

Besides the six there are 17 countries/territories with double digit downloads and 41 more countries with less than a thousand downloads.

I've compiled this table (ordered according to the number of downloads) for further illustration.

Firefox 3 Downloads (as of July 2, 2008)
In order of number of downloads

Rank	Downloads	Country/Territory
1	7,734,930	United States
2	2,466,910	Germany
3	1,342,608	Japan
4	1,198,993	United Kingdom
5	979,362	France
6	824,561	Spain
7	799,448	Poland
8	790,624	Canada
9	763,062	Italy
10	721,524	China
11	598,116	Brazil
12	535,796	Iran
13	495,484	Turkey
14	489,596	India
15	453,278	Australia
16	442,930	Netherlands
17	424,374	Lithuania
18	353,314	Russia
19	329,930	Romania
20	328,664	Mexico
21	279,059	Switzerland
22	252,535	Taiwan
23	247,588	Sweden
24	241,059	Argentina
25	225,824	Hungary
26	221,145	Austria
27	207,103	Chile
28	205,956	Vietnam
29	195,053	Philippines
30	193,209	Belgium
31	184,153	Czech Republic
32	173,805	Finland
33	170,122	Norway
34	168,981	Hong Kong
35	165,764	Bulgaria
36	163,433	Malaysia
37	161,836	Thailand
38	148,090	Greece
39	148,006	South Korea
40	143,283	Indonesia
41	140,331	Denmark
42	139,003	Israel
43	131,479	Portugal
44	129,957	Singapore
45	129,458	Colombia
46	98,740	Ukraine
47	98,445	Venezuela
48	98,186	Ireland
49	79,008	Slovakia
50	78,441	New Zealand
51	72,589	Peru
52	70,343	Slovenia
53	69,286	South Africa
54	62,216	Egypt
55	58,511	Croatia
56	49,922	Saudi Arabia
57	49,658	Serbia
58	44,371	United Arab Emirates
59	43,974	Estonia
60	43,195	Latvia
61	36,114	Morocco
62	35,893	Pakistan
63	32,256	Costa Rica
64	28,822	Puerto Rico
65	26,630	Dominican Republic
66	24,867	Algeria
67	20,247	Ecuador
68	19,339	Bangladesh
69	18,884	Nigeria
70	17,764	Luxembourg
71	17,093	Guatemala
72	15,946	Tunisia
73	15,222	Iceland
74	14,953	Kuwait
75	14,893	Belarus
76	14,500	Sri Lanka
77	13,905	Bosnia and Herzegovina
78	12,442	Qatar
79	12,225	Panama
80	11,188	Republic of Macedonia
81	10,804	Kazakhstan
82	10,446	Moldova
83	10,335	Jamaica
84	10,085	Bolivia
85	9,958	Trinidad and Tobago
86	9,902	Cyprus
87	9,310	El Salvador
88	9,285	Paraguay
89	9,227	Jordan
90	9,046	Uruguay
91	8,646	Kenya
92	7,672	Ghana
93	7,002	Malta
94	6,472	Mongolia
95	6,034	Nicaragua
96	5,921	Bahrain
97	5,853	Nepal
98	5,704	Lebanon
99	5,425	Cuba
100	5,256	Mauritius
101	5,091	Honduras
102	4,870	Senegal
103	4,452	Georgia
104	4,349	Barbados
105	4,174	Côte d'Ivoire
106	4,089	Palestinian Territories
107	4,073	Myanmar
108	3,915	Maldives
109	3,792	Oman
110	3,766	Brunei Darussalam
111	3,745	Syrian Arab Republic
112	3,527	Azerbaijan
113	3,037	Sudan
114	2,869	Albania
115	2,779	Cameroon
116	2,730	Libya
117	2,557	Bahamas
118	2,254	Armenia
119	2,227	Uzbekistan
120	2,051	Cambodia
121	1,881	New Caledonia
122	1,754	Iraq
123	1,598	Uganda
124	1,591	Tanzania
125	1,580	Faeroe Islands
126	1,480	Aruba
127	1,468	Yemen
128	1,433	Antigua and Barbuda
129	1,339	Angola
130	1,318	Bermuda
131	1,317	Madagascar
132	1,309	Fiji
133	1,303	Mozambique
134	1,296	Namibia
135	1,289	Andorra
136	1,264	Montenegro
137	1,237	Ethiopia
138	1,134	Belize
139	1,093	Saint Lucia
140	1,085	Liechtenstein
141	1,045	Zimbabwe
142	958	Botswana
143	935	Guyana
144	921	Zambia
145	844	Lao People's Democratic Republic
146	832	Afghanistan
147	785	Grenada
148	757	Reunion
149	732	Kyrgyzstan
150	714	Rwanda
151	696	Haiti
152	679	Suriname
153	677	Benin
154	647	Aland Islands
155	604	Burkina Faso
156	528	Malawi
157	514	Saint Kitts and Nevis
158	513	Gabon
159	513	Mali
160	511	Dominica
161	482	Greenland
162	389	Guinea
163	370	Togo
164	307	The Democratic Republic of the Congo
165	288	Mauritania
166	265	Gambia, The
167	255	Papua New Guinea
168	248	Tajikistan
169	224	Bhutan
170	220	Djibouti
171	201	Virgin Islands, British
172	196	Cape Verde
173	187	Guadeloupe
174	180	Turks and Caicos Islands
175	170	Anguilla
176	155	Swaziland
177	145	Vanuatu
178	138	Niger
179	136	Burundi
180	125	Lesotho
181	111	Tonga
182	106	Equatorial Guinea
183	79	Sierra Leone
184	66	Martinique
185	60	Somalia
186	59	Solomon Islands
187	56	Republic of Congo
188	53	Liberia
189	53	Samoa
190	50	Eritrea
191	41	Turkmenistan
192	34	Chad
193	24	Palau
194	23	Falkland Islands
195	19	Guinea-bissau
196	18	Central African Republic
197	15	Montserrat
198	13	Sao Tome and Principe
199	12	Comoros
200	0	French Guiana
201	0	North Korea
202	0	South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands
203	0	Svalbard and Jan Mayen
204	0	Timor-leste
205	0	Western Sahara

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Why Indians Google for Google on Google?

Was playing around with the recently launched Google Insights for Search and discovered some interesting (some expected) trends. Though "Insights for Search applies a filter for search terms that may be explicitly sexual," it still is a lot of fun.



One thing that struck me is that Indians search for Google on Google the most.



But Indians are not the only ones, most countries have the term Google on the top 10 most searched terms (It should be kept in note that search for "Google" doesn't imply only Google, but also includes related terms like Google Earth, Google Maps. The title of the post was just to catch some attention). And the interest in Google has shown an increasing trend worldwide since 2004 to present (that's the maximum date range in Insights).

The next obvious term is "sex" and the Pakistanis rule the roost here. Followed by Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. India stands seventh in exhibiting interest for the search keyword "Sex". India's not-so-friendly western neighbour is also the numero uno in the hunt for "boobs", "breasts", "penis", "rape", "xxx", "nudity" and more (I have better things to do then exploit my neighbours' secret desires).



Within India Orissa stands first in 'sex search' followed by Delhi. Chattisgarh, Arunachal Pradesh, Tripura, Mizoram and Nagaland seem to be the least interested in such activities (the search volume index for the states read zero).

Trinidad and Tobago look for porn via Google the most. Bangladesh comes in second. United Kingdom is at number three. And most, obviously, look for "free porn".



Lesser developed countries seem to more eagerly seek their national identity online than more developed countries. A random search showed that the country name ranked as the top searched item in these countries (India is an exception).

Countries that have witnessed turmoil feature prominently in the search for "peace".



Some random snippets to end this post:

* Honduras is most interested in Paris Hilton
* Albania seems to have a huge Pamela Anderson following
* Americans like their guns, but followed in the second place by Iraq
* The US is still looking for WMDs on Google
* But Cameroon seems to be more interested in Saddam Hussein (US doesn't make it to the top of the list for Saddam Hussein searches)
* India seeks the most 'outsourcing', the developed world (besides Singapore) doesn't seem to care much
* Nepal has the hots for "Aishwarya Rai"
* Katrina Kaif is more popular in Pakistan than in India
* Salman Khan is a huge hit in Somalia. Nepal is a faraway second.
* The Somalis also drool over Kareena. Pakistanis are a distant runner-up
* Pakistan and Fiji are more interested in Bollywood than India
* The Kiwis seem to the most excited about the Olympics
* Indians express the most interest for "silicon implants", but the popularity of the term seems to be fading over time.

Do come up with more interesting Insights.

(The above 'findings' are just assumptions via my limited understanding of Google Insights for Search and should not be construed as real)

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

That '80s Show

Children had trouble understanding what the hell Nirodh was…why all the rain and the singing and the pink umbrella. Grown up had trouble understanding it too, the population kept growing in spite of all the talk and wall painting by the Family welfare department…Jacha Bacha Bachoo ka Baap sab khush all happy under the one big palm. That again is another story.

Vinayak at At the Edge has put together quite a comprehensive collage of life in the 1980s (both in text and images). We oldies should read it for the n-effect and the bacchas to know of the world as it existed before internet and satellite television.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Indian Idol 3 - A City Turns Loony

The assembly elections in the state are quite a few months away, but from the look of the narrow and winding roads of Shillong it seems that canvassing is on in full swing. And all the parties are rooting for the same candidate.

On entering the city a huge hoarding sponsored by the state Youth Congress Chief asks you to vote. Further down into the city, the BJP has also put up banners appealing you to vote for the very same contestant - Amit Paul.

Many television viewers are by now quite familiar with the name. Amit Paul is the Shillong lad who has made it to the final two in one of the numerous TV musical talent shows - called Indian Idol. And for the hill state of Meghalaya and its sleepy cosmopolitan capital Shillong it seems to be the best thing to happen since January 21, 1972 - when the state of Meghalaya was carved out of Assam.

For a city with its soul soaked in music the zeal expressed in support of a local lad coming to the verge of getting a ticket to the 'big league' might not seem surprising. But the feverish excitement over a TV show is something that someone like me finds tough to comprehend.

People from other cities from where boys and girls have been contenders for the big promises of the talent shows might have been witness to similar phenomenon. I also had, last year, when Debojit Saha from south Assam had gone to the SaReGaMaPa contest on Zee TV (he was the eventual winner but not necessarily not the most talented of the lot) and I happened to be on a visit to that part of the country.

Amit Paul is already an icon in Shillong. Almost everyone is talking about him all the time. From the barber to the taxi driver, the point of discussion is Amit. Giant screens have been put up all over the city so that people can watch 'their boy' in action. MLAs and MDCs (Member of District Council) are falling over one another to sponsor free PCOs from where the public can punch in their votes for Amit.

Rallies in support of Amit are a daily affair and the crowd at the one when Amit came visiting home is said to be the largest that the city had ever witnessed. The last time Shillong saw people turning out on the roads voluntarily in huge numbers was when the body of Kargil martyr Captain K Clifford Nongrum was brought home.

Amit t-shirts line shop windows and his posters are best sellers (though some organisations have urged them to be distributed for free). Wherever you look in the city you cannot possibly miss one face with a slight stubble looking at you from all directions.

The swanky touch-screen mobile phones are no longer the latest show-off here, it is the number of votes that one has cast for Amit. An elderly gentleman who occupied the seat next to me in a local taxi (taxis in Shillong usually ply on a sharing basis) said that he voted 500 times. Others have reportedly sent over a thousand votes for their home-bred contestant. And the voting continues throughout the night.

To have a first-hand look I walked through the semi-deserted streets to one of the free PCOs at around midnight to discover a huge crowd there. People of all ages, pre-pubescent girls and elderly grandmothers all queuing up in a pleasant September night to vote for Amit. Occasionally some slogan shouting in support of Amit breaks the silence of the night.

For a city which is used to shutters downing a couple of hours after dusk (the sun sets early in the east) these energetic midnight ventures by the young and the old is indeed welcome.

What else is also welcome is that in a communally divided and sensitive society like Shillong's the success of Amit Paul has brought about an unprecedented sense of togetherness.

Amit Paul is Bengali, his family owns a renowned clothing outlet in the centre of the city - Shankar Brastalaya - and at the forefront of the campaign in support of Amit are the Khasis (both communities - Khasis and Bengalis - over the last few decades haven't shared the best of relations). Now both, along with the numerous other communities who inhabit Shillong are making a collective effort towards realising the recently realised dream of a city-bred Indian Idol.

But then there is also a dark side to this tale. Amit's competitor for the title of Indian Idol is Prashant Tamang, hailing from Darjeeling, and sceptics believe that Shillong's Nepali community (a sizeable one) is voting for Prashant, while according to them the loyalties of of all the people of Shillong should be with the city and not the tongue one speaks in.

In case Prashant betters Amit in the vote count there are apprehensions of disturbances in Shillong, which has fortunately been quite peaceful (communally) for the last few years.

To add to all the confusion are rumors of free SMS services being provided by mobile operators leading to many people sending as many SMSes as possible. Apart from the freebie seekers there are many deep pockets abound distributing free pre-paid cards to anyone willing to punch in the SMSes in Amit's favour.

Amidst all the brouhaha it is obvious that there would be a few who can see though this maniacal euphoria (thankfully there are). These few realise that the producers of the show are merely triggering the upheaval of regional emotions and filling their (and the mobile operators') coffers and are also aware of the real value of such talent hunts at a time where every channel boasts of one, if not more such shows. They also try to recall the previous winners of such shows and the oblivion where most of them have disappeared into and also the process of multiple public voting which turns a so-called democratic exercise into a farce.

A local columnist Patricia Mukhim is believed to have ignited the fire for Amit through her columns in the local newspapers. Then socio-cultural organisations took over and even the government couldn't resist from staying behind. The Meghalaya government has declared Amit Paul the 'Brand Ambassador of the State of Meghalaya for Peace, Communal Harmony and Excellence' (see the adjacent image of a copy of the letter from the Chief Secretary) and even the Governor signed his fan book.

With many of Shillong's lasses already publicly expressing the desire to marry him, Amit might just face another problem of plenty. A Sikkim-based businessman has announced a Rs One crore funding for voting in favour of Prashant. There are also rumors of the government employees of Sikkim contributing a day's salary to the kitty for Prashant.

May the best man win, but they seldom do in the farce that these talent hunts are.

Special addition: [September 19, 2007] In fear of excommunication by fellow Shillongites and the possibility of being denied entry into the city in the future for daring to question the concept of TV talent shows at a time when Amit Paul has made it to the finals of Indian Idol 3, here's an attempt towards pacifying the die-hard fans of Shillong's latest singing sensation - some childhood and teenage photographs of him (Don't ask me whether I voted for him or not).

[Click on images for a larger view]


Teenaged Amit


Baby Amit with his grandmother


Boy Amit with his sister


Youthful Amit singing at a Shillong hotel

Amit's childhood photos courtesy: Eastern Panorama

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

The Literary Chaiwallah

Before you get any ideas about me turning an author, let me clarify that the chaiwallah in question isn't the faux tea vendor who maintains this blog but a genuine one who has penned 18 books over 30 years. Watch the story of Laxman Rao aka Lekhakji.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Delhi Don'ts for North Easterners

I hail from one of the states that form what is referred to as North-East India, a cluster of states which 'mainland India' cannot or doesn't want to distinguish from one another, I live in Delhi and I would like a copy of the booklet - Security Tips for Northeast Students/Visitors in Delhi. I too want to know firsthand how 'others' want me to act like.

While the booklet might have been issued in good spirit, but it ends up sending the wrong message and gives further credence to the unfounded presumptions about people from the far eastern regions of the country that many in 'mainland India' harbour. The officer behind this initiative, Robin Hibu, is himself a north easterner and an IPS officer from the Arunachal Pradesh cadre.

I too had my share of experience of being an unknown Indian, but being a Bengali by ethnicity and the fact that I don't look like a 'chinky' (it is a derogatory and racist term) I'm spared many of the asperities that others have to face.

Since I'm yet to read the actual booklet and am basing my observations on media reports, I wouldn't like to comment much. But here are some excerpts from what appeared in the papers:

* A proud father sent his only daughter in Delhi to make her IAS/IPS but she returned back as drug addict, promising boy landed into police case for drunken brawl, late night parties with loud music landed six youngsters into police case, revealing dressed up parties lass was molested and thrown out from moving vehicle badly bruised after being outraged…

* Dress code: When in rooms do as Roman does (sic)

* Revealing dress be (sic) avoided. Avoid lonely road/bylane when dressed scantily. Dress according to sensitivity of the local populace

* Bamboo shoot, Akhuni and other smelly dishes should be prepared without creating ruckus in neighbourhood.

Anyone with a dress sense will agree to the fact that north easterners do know how to dress well (especially the females) and the connection between dressing and sexual harassment is something which The Blank Noise Project is trying to disprove.

Food is a personal choice as well as a cultural one. I savour the 'smelly food' and on my flight from home last night, a quarter of my luggage was occupied by the 'smelly' stuff. I don't like anyone else to dictate my food habits and would like it to remain that way.

The interesting observation that emerges from this controversy is that most of the time efforts are being made to assimilate the North East with the 'mainstream.' Why isn't there anything visible which strives towards making the 'mainstream' understand the North East better? Cultural hegemony...

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

In Praise of the Present President

Sudheendra Kulkarni shares this heartening anecdote about the outgoing President APJ Abdul Kalam in his column in The Sunday Express:

Here is an example of how his deeds matched his words. Last year, some 60-odd relatives and friends of Dr Kalam from his native village in Tamil Nadu came to Delhi and stayed with him for about a week. Not a single car from Rashtrapati Bhavan's large fleet was used for taking them around the city. The President paid from his own account for the buses hired for the purpose. He also paid for their rent and food, right up to the last cup of tea served to them. Among the guests was Dr Kalam's own 90-year-old elder brother, APK Muthu Marakkayar, who stayed with him in the president's private quarters.

When Dr Kalam insisted on making the payment for his brother's stay, the astounded and emotion-choked staff of Rashtrapati Bhavan said, "Sir, please excuse us. We can't accept payment for this from you."

It is not very difficult to understand why the dear Dr Kalam didn't get a second stint. After all integrity isn't an asset in our democracy, sycophancy is.

[Photo courtesy: presidentofindia.nic.in]

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Awry Planets

I usually don't subscribe to magazines and prefer to get them from the pavement vendors. Primarily because I'm quite prone to shifting residences. It is only the newspapers that I like to be home delivered, as I don't fancy a kilometre long walk every morning just to get the papers. But the Swiss Knife which Outlook was offering along with a one-year subscription made me change my long standing practice. But I wasn't too happy, no the knife is good and quite handy; it is the delivery of the magazines. A few copies, then a long pause, I write an email and then they again start arriving.

But when the magazines arrive, the first thing I read is the last page (the usual practice of reading magazines) - the Diary - which usually features interesting notes by interesting people (though a description of the author in some cases would go a lot of good for a clueless reader like me). This time it was Rahul Singh, former editor with Reader's Digest, The Times of India and The Indian Express. Being the son of Khushwant Singh, he has inherited his father's quality of not mincing words when it comes to things which irk him. And I couldn't agree more with Rahul when he writes this:

1+1 = 11

If you wanted further proof that astrology is perhaps the biggest hoax perpetrated on the Indian public, take a look at some of the predictions made about the cricket World Cup. Not a single Bombay astrologer predicted that India would crash out before reaching the Super Eights. That charming fraud, Bejan Daruwala, said India had a "strong chance" of winning the World Cup and that either Rahul Dravid or Munaf Patel would be "player of the tournament". Who would score the maximum runs, Ma Prem Rithambara was asked. Dhoni or Tendulkar, she replied. And take the most wickets? Irfan Pathan. Sanjay Jumaani, who calls himself a numerologist, after giving some mumbo jumbo on how 2007 adds up to the number 9 - which represents Mars and hence is the "best" number for India - concluded that the man who will score the most runs is Robin Uthappa! When will we stop taking these charlatans seriously?

[Rahul Singh. "Mumbai Diary." Outlook Volume XLVII, No. 21. May 15-21: 112]

I too had during my school days an interest in astrology and palmistry - I didn't believe in it - because I wanted to know things better so that I could counter them better. Later a teacher who saw a female classmate asking me with a stretched palm, "When shall I get married?" came to a more appropriate conclusion. "I know you don't believe in any of the stuff, it's just an excuse to get closer to the girls." Not way off the mark, but not entirely true either.

It's pity that so many able people show more faith in the stars than in themselves.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Brian Says Bye

Cricket is a beautiful game, especially the longer five-day version. But earning a livelihood does no longer allow me the privilege of watching a Test in total. I cannot even watch a One-Day if it goes on till late in the night (haven't watched a single Twenty20 match till date). There are some extraordinary cricketers who add more beauty to this beautiful game. Brian Charles Lara is one such cricketer.

In an anti-climax of a climactic career, often as the lone ranger, he was run out for a lowly 18 in his last international appearance. But that wouldn't take away any credit from the man and his abilities. Often accused of being a selfish player, like another contemporary great Sachin Tendulkar, Lara amassed a lot of records. Some of which will take a long while to break.

Often during my school and college years, friends would call up at odd hours and ask me to turn on the TV to watch Lara play. And I religiously did, because it was a real pleasure watching the master in action. But that magic was waning. And he was right to rest his bat.

Many feel that Sachin should also follow Lara's act (and also Inzamam's, but Pakistani cricketers have a reputation of coming out of retirement), but India's injury-ridden-and-fickle-form sensation still has a few years left in him, so does Saurav Ganguly. But Ganguly is not at the same level as Sachin and Lara.

Lara should now focus on grooming talent for West Indies, where the game is dying a slow death, and ensuring that he is not the last cricketing great to emerge out of the amalgamation of islands.

Now I'll have to watch archival footage of the Prince in play to say "Lara, kya hain mara!"

[Photo courtesy: Caribbean Free Photo]

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Do you recognise him?

When I saw this photo, I didn't. Only when my eyes ventured to the name accompanying the column in the November 1987 issue of what was then India's favourite men's mag - Debonair - that I said "Oh!"

I still see Debonair on a lot of newsstands; therefore I assume that it still sells well, but not as well as it did when we were in school. Now there's the internet for competition.

Now back to the man in question. It is not as tricky as the one on Rahul Dravid. An imaginary beard should reveal the CEO of Inx Media (I'm not sure about the precise designation) and the advisory editorial director of HT Media, Vir Sanghvi.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

The Real Parliament Attackers Revealed

December 13, 2001. The Indian Parliament is attacked. A dozen dead, including the attackers. Massive deployment of soldiers by India to the border with Pakistan. Relations strained. Many arrests made. Some convicted, others acquitted. One now in death row, seeking clemency.

In five years, a lot has been happening, moving and changing. But inside the highest seat of the world's largest democracy, not much has changed except for the people occupying the treasury and the opposition benches. They termed the December 13 attack as one on Indian democracy. I wouldn't reproduce on this blog what actually were the people's reactions (there's a strong possibility of getting blocked). Everyone knows, or can very easily guess how the common man would have reacted.

The most crippling attack on the form of government that this country practices is not from the terrorists or militants from outside, rather it is from the ones inside the House. Every session is an unending assault. This is what cartoonist Neeraj Gupta says through his exhibition 'Sansad Par Hamla' (Attack on Parliament). The exhibition was inaugurated yesterday, by veteran cartoonist Sudhir Tailang at the All India Fine Arts and Crafts Society, 1 Rafi Marg (Opposite Rail Bhavan), New Delhi 110001. The exhibition is on till Sunday, December 17, 2006 from 1:00 PM to 7:00 PM.

I know Neeraj (Neerajsir to me) since my university days in Bhopal, where he was a cartoonist with Nava Bharat. He was someone who fitted my visualisation of a cartoonist to the hilt. The other two that I met in flesh and blood were quite different. The great RK Laxman came across as acerbic (maybe because of his age), but not without wit and I didn't believe that Sudhir Tailang was Sudhir Tailang until he drew a caricature of the then Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee on my notebook (but Narasimha Rao remains his best), he to me looked quite un-cartoonist like.

Neeraj is jovial man even in the most adverse of circumstances. Someone, who isn't afraid to take risks and face challenges, even if the costs involved are great. One fine day he gave his comfortable job up and landed in the city of dreams, Bombay, in pursuit of his dreams (later also took me along on my very first visit to the city and played a gracious host). When things didn't work out the way he would have liked them to be, he bid adieu to Bombay and landed in Delhi in his tried and tested vocation as a cartoonist with Dainik Jagran. Not very satisfied with the ways of the media, he joined Samsung India Electronics, where he is the Creative Director.

If you happen to visit the exhibition, do chat with him He's interesting to talk to. Makes you feel comfortable.

Here are a few cartoons from the exhibition (tried to translate them for readers who are not comfortable with Hindi, but much might be lost in the process).


Hope you remember? Repeated boycotts made me forget the way to the Parliament


... and this is an extinct species of a Parliamentary etiquette following MP


It is hereby informed that this premises is not for commercial use ... shut your shop from here ... else this place would be sealed. By order - Public


Live Telecast


Breaking news! Today the Parliament managed to get some work done


The Great Indian Comedy Show


In our sport steroids are an absolute necessity


Walk out

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

A Movie and a Martyr

Just finished watching a documentary on (broadcast on NDTV 24X7) the man whose death familiarised the term 'whistleblower' to the Indian public. Today is the third anniversary of Satyendra Kumar Dubey's death.

The documentary - Satyendra Jayate - was very Doordarshanish and reminded me of diploma/degree films which half-baked students at media schools usually put together. Clichéd and uninspiring, the credits mention some Little Doc Productions. They might have been short of funding, but that's not an excuse. Creative innovation is possible on less than half a shoestring. Satyendra deserved better. The unrecognised Satyendras deserve better.

Watch the trailer (It's a little better than the complete documentary).

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

The Real Rubber Man

At Rs 80 a week, TIME magazine's prohibitively expensive. Considering I spend over five per cent of my take-home earning every month on printed matter, adding another Rs. 320 to the account seems unreasonable, given the fact that I end up reading less than a quarter of all that I buy. Therefore as a cost cutting exercise I make it a point to get only the special issues, usually from the Sunday market at Old Delhi's Daryaganj at a fraction of the price, or on busy weekends from the magazine stores, paying in full.

TIME Asia's 60th anniversary issue was a special one. Nehru and Gandhi on the cover would've attracted many like me (TIME often comes out with different covers for different readerships) and this one had four.

There were a total of 11 Indians in there if you expand the definition of Indianess to include The Dalai Lama and Freddie Mercury (Farrokh Bulsara). On second thoughts, make it a dozen, since Mohammed Ali Jinnah was an Indian citizen for almost all his life. Many of the Asian heroes were whom I knew well. Quite a few were discoveries. Some I had only heard of, but never read about.

In the first (and till date the only) bloggers' meet that I attended, Dhiraj addressed me as the 'Rubber Man' in recognition of the most read and linked (and by far the lengthiest) post on Cutting the Chai. But the real Rubber Man is (no, not Prabhu Deva) Mechai Viravaidya, also known as Thailand's 'Condom King.'

"Never afraid to challenge the status quo, he's a refreshing change in arenas too often concerned about consensus and not rocking the boat. Mechai, a longtime Senator and cabinet minister, has little patience for committee meetings - he's more at home leading a rural Thai community in a condom-blowing contest, handing out kitsch souvenirs promoting safe sex, or greeting guests at his Bangkok-based chain of restaurants, Cabbages and Condoms, where free condoms take the place of after-dinner mints. His brash, quirky style makes people laugh about sex - and has forced the topic of sexuality into the open."

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

Professor Rintu Has Left the Building

"What is your good name?" A question which many of us would have answered innumerable times during our growing years. The emphasis was on the 'good.' It gave us the impression that our other name(s) - nicknames, pet names - fell in the 'bad name' category. Therefore we took extra precautions against the revelation of our not-so-good names to our classmates. With those who stayed close enough to know us by our pet names, it was a fair trade. You don't utter mine and I too will keep yours a secret.

The deal usually worked only with those who spoke in Bangla at home. Others usually gave a damn about our deals and naturally turned into blackmailers. They without any alternative names, or with 'fancy' ones like Vicky, Rocky, Munna (Anil Kapoor's character in Tezaab came to their aid) or Jackie, didn't have anything to hide. About the girls we didn't care much; it was still a couple more years to go to know their worth.

Long ago, more than a year to be precise, my brother had forwarded me a mail. Many of you would have it in your inboxes. It is also there at a couple of places online. But it makes for a wonderful read, therefore couldn't resist posting it here. Hope you will sympathise with our kind.

To all the Choton, Gul-Gul, Khoka, Laltu, Gogol, Tutu, Bubu, Khokon, Bhonda... et al

This post is part of an ongoing series. In these pages, I will attempt to alert people to a great injustice that is being perpetrated upon the sons of Bengal. So you thought they were wimpy to begin with. Far from it, my friend. Their current state is a result of years of conditioning by the oppressors - namely the women. By using a variety of psychological weapons, they have reduced these fine men to what you see today.

Today we focus on the first weapon in their hands - the NICK-NAME.

When a son is born into a Bengali household, he is gifted with a resonant, sonorous name. Bengali names are wonderful things. They convey majesty and power. A man with a name like Prasenjit, Arunabha or Sukanta is a man who will walk with his head held high, knowing that the world expects great deeds from him, which was why they bestowed the title that is his name upon him.

But it simply will not do for these men to get ahead of themselves. Their swelling confidence needs to be shattered. How can one go about it? This task is left to the mothers of these lads and is accomplished by the simple act of referring to the boy, not by his fine-sounding real name, but by a nickname which Shakti Kapoor would be ashamed to answer to.

Their are some rules for creating nicknames, which need to be followed. They are -nicknames must have no connection to the real name. "Arunabha" cannot be called "Arun". No, for that would be logical, and such things are anathema in the world of women. Instead he shall be called "Bhombol". If possible, the nickname and real name must have no letters in common, but an ancient alphabet proves to be the constraining factor there.

Nicknames must be humiliating. If you are a tall strapping boy, with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing personality, then you shall be nicknamed - "Bhondu". And every time, you have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the aforementioned lass eat out of your hand - your mother will arrive & pronounce loudly - "Bhondu" - Bari eso (come home). The ensuing sea of giggles will drown out whatever confidence you had earned from that last winning free-kick.

A nickname must refer in some way to a suitably embarrassing incident in your childhood that you would give your arm and leg to forget. If it took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming will not rid you of the nomenclature - "Motka". If your face turned crimson when you cried as a toddler, you will be called "Laltu". When you turn 40, your friends' children will call you "Laltu Uncle". Even age will not earn you the right to be taken seriously thereafter.

Different members of the family will make up different nicknames - each more embarrassing than the preceding one. If one member of the family calls you Piklu, then another will call you Mitul, and another will call you Jumbo. The humiliation multiplies.

You will always be introduced by your nickname, until people forget you had a Real Name. Ranajoy might have taken on a gang of armed men single-handedly, but Toton really didn't have a chance. After a point Toton will completely take over the beaten body of Ranajoy, weighed down by the pressure of a thousand taunts.

This strategy is surprisingly effective. Ask yourself - would you take Professor 'Rintu' seriously? Or put much weight by the opinion of Dr. 'Bubai'? Or march into battle under the command of General 'Thobla'?

The power of the nickname has scarred the psyche of Bengali men everywhere. It follows them like a monkey on their backs. That too, a monkey with a flair for slapstick, that was gifted to them by their own mothers.

That, dear Bong friends, is Step No.1 of their grand plan. I must leave now before they realise I am telling you all this. Now let me make my escape. But wait! There's no way we can let you go now - you've seen too much. Not before you answer the question...

"Tomar daak naam ki, Khoka?" (What's your pet name, kiddo?)

Google search tells me that at least one Professor Rintu exists.

If anyone knows who the original author of the piece is, please let me know.

[Translations in brackets are my additions]

Update [October 8, 2006]

The original post is here (Thanks TM).

And my mail didn't have the concluding paragraph:

But wait! There's no way we can let you go now - you've seen too much. Not before you answer the question... "Tomar daaknaam ki, khoka? (What's your pet name, kiddo?)"

The crowd waits with bated breath in anticipation of the great warrior being hoisted by his own petard. They lick their chops hungrily. But tonight is not their night. He stands tall and straight and a smug smile plays on his lips. From his lips come the words -

"Mazhi aai Bangali nahee" (I'm not a Bong - in Marathi). And he survives to fight another day.

And this was TM's comment on the original piece:

What about the man whose mother said to a leading Bengali newspaper- "Babloo phone kore bollo: Ma, Aami Nobel peyechhi". Even a Nobel prize won't help you live that down!

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

A Stingray Got Steve

Had taken a few days off from work and was lazing around at home. It was in the afternoon that a mail from Aquamarine made me aware of this.

We all loved him and many aspired to be like him. All the creepy crawly things that we all shy away from were his passion and he brought them before us with a smile on his face and unquavering dedication. It was the during the shooting of one of his pet endeavours, to bring to us face to face with the deadliest in the animal kingdom (he was shooting for Ocean's Deadliest) within the safe environs of our living rooms, that he met his fate in a stingray - whose attacks are believed to be rarely fatal. But Steve Irwin was a rare sort of guy. Salutes Steve. You gave us Indians an alternative denotation of khaki shorts.

Stephen Robert Irwin
Born: February 22, 1962
Died: September 4, 2006
The crocs will miss you. So shall we.

Photo courtesy: Richard Giles

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post

The Parsis - An Incredible People

The following is just a partial list of prominent Parsis of Indian origin. For a population of 69,601 (33,949 males and 35,652 females) according to the 2001 census they are a hugely successful lot. But their numbers are fast dwindling; their population according to the 1991 census was 76,382, a fall of around 10,000 in 10 years. Alarming, it is.

Prominent Parsis
(A partial list)

Adi Godrej
AFS Talyarkhan
Alisha Chinai
Alyque Padamsee
Ardeshir Godrej
Ardeshir Irani
Aruna Irani
Avabai Jamsetjee Jeejeebhoy
Behram Contractor
Bhikaji Cama
Boman Irani
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Oshidar
Cyrus Poncha
Cyrus Poncha
Cyrus Sahukar
Dadabhai Naoroji
Dinshaw Maneckji Petit
Dorabji Tata
Fardunjee Marzban
Farobag Homi Cooper
Farokh Engineer
Farrukh Dhondy
Feroze Gandhi
Firdaus Kanga
Framjee Nasarwanjee Patel
Freddie Mercury
Gary Lawyer
Godrej Sidhwa
Homi Jehangir Bhabha
Homi K Bhabha
Homi Nusserwanji Sethna
Jamsetji Nusserwanji Tata
Jamshed Khudadad Irani
Jamshetji Tata
Jehangir Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata
KD Sethna
KM Nanavati
Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji
Kaizad Gustad
Khurshed F Nariman
Lovji Nusserwanjee Wadia
Mancherjee Bhownagree
Meher Baba
Mehli Dinshaw Irani
Mehli Mehta
Nanabhoy Palkhivala
Nari Contractor
Nauheed Cyrusi
Ness Wadia
Nina Wadia
Nusli Wadia
Pallonji Mistry
Perizaad Zorabian
Persis Khambatta
Pherozeshah Mehta
Phiroze Jamshedji Jeejeebhoy
Pirojsha Godrej
Ratan Naval Tata
Ratan Tata
Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata
Rattanbai Petit
Rohinton Mistry
Ronnie Irani
Sam Manekshaw
Sam Piroj Bharucha
Shapurji Saklatvala
Sir Jamsetjee Jeejebhoy, 1st Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 2nd Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 3rd Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 4th Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 5th Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 6th Baronet
Sir Jamsetjee Jejeebhoy, 7th Baronet
Sohrab Modi
Soli Jehangir Sorabjee
Sooni Taraporevala
Zubin Mehta

Wanted to post this yesterday on the occasion of Navroz - the Parsi New Year, but the internet (as usual) was down.

Just for the sake of experimenting with new things moved to Blogger Beta. There are a lot of enhanced features, but for now almost all of them are of no good to me. You can make changes to your template very easily, but only if you're using one of Blogger's default templates. But html-java script semiliterate me had spend a lot of sleepless nights in designing my current template and I'm not going to let go it so easily. To add to my woes, I cannot post comments on other blogs which haven't shifted to the Beta version. And if someone has disabled the anonymous comment function, I can't voice my opinions. The guys at Blogger promise that things would soon be rectified. Once they are, with the additional features they are promising, it is definitely going to be an enhanced blogging experience.

Click here for the complete post...

Collapse this post