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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Qualities of a Nice Girl

Nice Girl - clothing tagSaid yes to a friend for bargain shopping company. She wanted to drag me all the way to the southern fringe of the city to Mahipalpur - Delhi's famous factory outlet and second shop area. "It's too far off," thought I. Google told me about North India's first (and only) 'factory outlet mall' at Vaishali, Ghaziabad. Much nearer. Naturally, I dragged her to Ansal Plaza, Vaishali. What she had in mind was a pair of five-pocket corduroy trousers. Her office doesn't allow jeans; cords with the same cut are fine. Only no denim allowed.

We tried every store at the mall (which even on a holiday looked quite deserted, the top floor was still waiting for shopkeepers, most stores didn't have much of decent stock but discounts there were many, ranging from 20 to 70 per cent), but with little luck. Disillusioned we gave Vishal Mega Mart a try and she found the stuff she wanted and that too for a decent price.

"Okay," you say, "where's the story?"

I'm coming to that. One thing that I unfailingly do when someone purchases an article of clothing is to read the attached tags. It is usually the usual blabber. The wash instructions and lots of self praise. But on reading the text attached to the pair that my friend purchased, I couldn't comprehend much. Maybe someone can help. It read (I've removed the original all-caps for readability, the rest is verbatim):

Nice Girl
The spirit of style

This style choose to design with meticulous care from the excellent material but. Show the view of nature, generous and elegant!

The brand high class exquisite article dress, it deep to get the essence of the westernand traditional graft. With its cultured stitch the craft consummately, assist with the design that ages feels, make tasty obvious special, combine to make a point of the character make open, try hard for to make your every time worn to experience personally all can be relaxed in proper form, belong to the dress on article it is deep to suffer the high personal status the perso-nage of welcome

The bits that I could make out are:

"Show the view of nature, generous and elegant!" - for feminine clothing. Hmmm... Anyway, I double checked the zipper and the stitches.

"traditional graft" - well, we are champions in that.

"consummately, assist" - where exactly is it heading to?

"to suffer the high personal status" - the reader was already suffering.

Anyway, a consumer shouldn't complain much, as long as the price is right and the quality satisfactory. If it hadn't been for the language (I wonder who wrote this piece and how), it would have gone to that place where most of the kind go - the dustbin (I occasionally save a few good-looking ones to serve as bookmarks).


San said...

ah how nice of you to go shopping with a girl friend .. me being a girl would never go along with a female friend! Such a nightmare being dragged around the shops.

I too save some of the decent tags as bookmarks

--Sunrise-- said...

you collect clothes' tags too??

Anonymous said...

good one. i just love reading these tags. especially of the not-so-popular brands. they sure make up for their lack of meaning just by tying up your brain in knots. the tag you have referred to is as good as it gets. one needs to open a museum or soemthing just to display these. good usage of english by the manufacturer, eh.

dwaipayan said...

thw writer must be someone like you..

Rohit Talwar said...

Bookmarks?! COME ON! :O

educatedunemployed said...

Are you kidding me.I don't know if I would be angry reading some thing so badly written in all senses or die laughing my guts out.Yeah exactly where is this garment heading with all the consumation.

dwaipayan said...

update alert!!!

San said...

November deserves a post. I get rather irritated when i have to visit some of my favourite blogs over and over only to find no updates :(

rather demanding i know.

Bakar-Junta said...

Seriously .. its a cold november here in pune.. so can i have my isshpecial cutting with some adrak too ?

Soumyadip said...

San Sometimes there's no way out.

Sunrise Just the 'interesting' ones.

Anonymous Planning to convert this blog into an online museum of sorts.

Dwaipayan If I had written it, it would have more explicit double meanings.

Rohit They DO make good bookmarks, especially the ones that come with Tantra T-shirts.

Educatedunemployed We no longer get angry, it's more worth a good laugh. And where that garment is heading, I too tried to find out. But got tangled in the code language.

Dwaipayan One. In fact two posts posted.

San I like demanding readers. They get me to do something. November has now got its share of posts. More will follow. Soon.

Bakar-Junta Ever tried chai or kaafee with brandy? It really makes you warm.